Getting a Divorce

Divorce hits home on many different levels. Couples, kids, friends and wider family are all impacted by divorce, but none more so than the unfortunate couple. With this in mind, we have drawn on our experience and web resources to compile the top 5 ways to make it through a difficult divorce. Our list is not exhaustive, but we hope it provides some focus and advice to those in need of support at a very difficult time.

- The first thing to remember – the most important thing to remember is: Divorce takes time. It’s easy to classify divorce as a one-shot event; something which must be endured, then recovered from over time. While emotional and financial recovery from divorce may well take time, be prepared for divorce proceedings to take anything from a month to many years. Draw on support from family and friends and understand that it won’t be a pleasant process, but it will end.

- Work through your feelings. As counter-productive as it may seem, many divorces are expedited when both partners have taken the time to work through their feelings and discussed their plans before any legal action takes place. While this may be impossible in some circumstances, you’ll save money and heart ache if you can co-operate during the process.

- Ensure you have enough money to undertake a divorce. While most countries provide a minimum of support, protracted divorce proceedings, the shake-up of home life, and other aggravations can lead to unexpected financial losses. Set aside a buffer fund and talk with friends to ensure you’ll always have a roof over your head, even if it isn’t your own!

- Kids come first. Any couple with kids should keep their needs at the forefront during any divorce proceeding. Unless abuse is a factor, the kids should be given access to both parents during divorce proceedings, it’ll be easier on yourself and your children if traditional home life is maintained as much as is possible.

- Invest in a qualified, specialized Divorce Lawyer Attorney. Cheap representation may suffice if the divorce is completely amicable but, if you foresee complications in the form of an uncooperative spouse or complex financial arrangements; it is almost always worth the cost of a more experienced and specialized divorce attorney.

The key considerations for your personal wellbeing during divorce proceedings are to establish emotional and financial support, should you need it. The support of friends can be invaluable, but be aware that friends of both partners may feel uncomfortable discussing the relationship. There is generally little or no advantage to initiating divorce proceedings before your partner, so take the time to establish a financial surplus to see you through a potentially expensive separation.

Financial issues involved in a divorce – especially high net worth cases – can often become rather complicated.   Unreported income and hidden assets are often alleged in divorce proceedings, usually by the spouse who is either not running a business or has not been in charge of the family finances.

It is not uncommon for a spouse to hide assets, especially if the divorce has been planned for quite a while.  People hide assets for a variety of reasons, but essentially, they have property or money that they do not want to have discovered.

There are numerous ways to find hidden assets, but typically assets are either placed in the hands of third parties or behind false documents. The process of finding assets or proving unreported income is often one of the most difficult assignments during the divorce process. Being familiar with ways individuals move assets into the hands of third parties or behind false documents and techniques to find those hidden assets can result in the discovery of this property.

The cost of such discovery work must be weighed carefully against the potential benefits.  It is important for a budget to be planned for two levels of investigation. At the first level, formal discovery procedures such as interrogatories, depositions, subpoenas, requests to produce and motions to compel can provide information to review and analyze the marital and non-marital estates.

If an individual does not have a detailed list of assets and debts along with documents to prove the whereabouts of these assets, the discovery in identifying the “easy to find” estate can become costly.  At this point, a decision has to be made as to whether further money should be spent on the second level of discovery, which investigates and traces transfer of ownership of assets into  other individuals’ or entities’ names.

Is the cost of the investigation worth the potential value of the assets which are assumed, at this point, to be hidden? Through diligent and effective preparation, it is possible to discover assets not disclosed or acknowledged by the other party. It is important to create realistic expectations with the client as to the ability to discover assets which have been actively concealed, and the reality that – despite best efforts – it is sometimes impossible to locate willfully hidden assets.

In divorce situations, careful consideration must be given to answer any questions about about potential hidden assets.  What types of assets may be hidden? How are assets hidden? What techniques can be used to locate hidden assets?

WHAT ASSETS MAY BE HIDDEN?

The most common types of assets hidden are cash, bonds, mutual funds, cash value in insurance policies and variable annuities, stocks, travelers’ checks, Series EE savings bonds, and bearer municipal bonds.

Conversion of cash into personal property such as art, jewelry, collectibles, antiques, vehicles, boats and planes are also possibilities.  Hobby equipment, gun collections, original paintings, collector quality carpets and tools are examples of asset conversion that often are overlooked or undervalued.

HOW ARE ASSETS HIDDEN?

Methods of concealing assets are as varied as the personalities of the individuals involved. In their attempts to veil assets, spouses may often involve relatives or acquaintances who may or may not be aware of their complicity in the diversion of personal assets. It is not unusual to discover the placing of personal possessions or investment certificates into safety deposit boxes in the name of a family member or friend.

Paying down mortgages and credit card balances is yet another method of hiding funds in plain sight. Repayments of phony debts to friends or relatives can appear to be legitimate use of resources. Expenses for paramours such as gifts, travel, rent or tuition for college or classes may be disguised as valid outlays of funds.  Assets may be transferred into the name of another family member, friend or corporate entity.

Custodial accounts established under a child’s social security number as well as transfer of assets into pension, profit-sharing, 401(k), and Keogh plans are all strategies for cloaking liquid assets from the opposing party’s view. Employees can work in collusion with their employers to delay business contracts, raises or bonuses until after the divorce.

The transfer of large sums of money to trusts is one way individuals may attempt to disguise assets. Another is to gift money to individuals with the anticipation of having the money returned at a later date. These patently deceptive strategies may be fraudulent as well.

Spouses who own businesses may use the corporate entity to conceal assets. Skimming cash from the business, paying salary to nonexistent employees and then voiding the checks after the divorce, and paying salaries or fees to relatives or close friends for services that may never have actually been rendered then receiving the money back after the divorce is final are all strategies used by business owners to veil cash.

The value of a business prior to a divorce can be lowered artificially by delaying the signing of lucrative long-term business contracts until after a divorce settlement is reached. Unreported income on tax returns and financial statements can reduce the perceived value of a business to the detriment of the other party in the divorce.

WHAT TECHNIQUES CAN BE USED TO LOCATE HIDDEN ASSETS?

Prior to searching for hidden assets, the investigator must have accurate and timely personal identification information for the other spouse. This includes full legal name and variations (nicknames, abbreviations, common misspellings) as well as known aliases. Current and recent address information is essential. While some searches only need the name and not the address, it is always good to have both pieces of information.

Because assets may have been transferred to family members, the names and addresses of close relatives, their social security numbers and dates of birth will be valuable information in tracing movement of property or cash between the spouse and family.

Specific questions may reveal the likelihood of hidden assets evident through lifestyle.  Does the spouse travel?  If so, where?  In what type of hotels do they stay, and what are their activities as they travel?  Who makes up their group of friends and what type of people are they? Does the spouse get an automatic transfer of funds or an allowance? Does the spouse deposit a paycheck into a separate account?

Other telling information can be gleaned from answers to questions such as these. Is a credit card statement being mailed to the spouse’s work address?  Are large amounts of cash floating around?  Is cash used to pay for purchases?  Who are the spouse’s accountant and lawyer? Has the other party provided honest reports on prior tax returns? Is there ownership of a business?  If so, is it a cash business?  Is there a Subchapter S Corporation?

With this basic information in hand, the investigator can pursue specific information from many sources.  Here’s a quick list of information sources which should be reviewed.

1.  Income Tax returns: This should be the first place to look for possible clues as to the existence of hidden assets.  The return provides the roadmap to the discovery of income earning assets and asset sales.  The return should also describe the source of income, whether it be interest, dividends, rental income and gain or loss from the sale of a stock.  Each page of the tax return should be carefully examined for information.

2.  Public Records:  Public records are available in county courthouses, city halls and at state repositories.  These records contain valuable information that is public and available to anyone who inquires.  However, to be efficient with time and resources, one needs to be familiar with how to obtain the types of documents that will reveal asset holdings

Whether termed as obscuring, hiding, obfuscating, veiling or concealing assets, the many methods used by one spouse to prevent access by the other to cash, real, personal or business property can present a seemingly insurmountable wall for attorneys seeking parity or equitable division of marital assets for their client.  Due diligence demands exhaustive measures when unethical and/or fraudulent arrangements exist or are suspected. While it may be difficult to bring to light unreported income and hidden assets, clues can be found which are very meaningful to a trained eye, and can open the facts for fair final property settlements.

References:

Abrams Yu and Associates, P.C. “Problems of Hidden Assets in Divorce Litigation.” June 07, 2006. http://www.divorcenet.com/states/michigan/problems_of_hidden-assets (accessed April 30, 2009).

Elizabeth L. Bennett, Attorney at Law. “Hidden Assets in Divorce: Are They Discoverable?” Undated. http://www.divorcesource.com/PA/ARTICLES/bennett1.html (accessed April 29, 2009).

Hoover, Joe, and Anni Adkins and Dr. Lew Deitch. “How to Conduct an Assets Search – Part One.” HowToInvestigate.com. Undated. http://howtoinvestigate.com/articles/assets_search1.html (accessed April 29, 2009).

Hoover, Joe, Anni Adkins, and Dr. Lew Deitch. “How to Conduct an Assets Search – Part Two – Locating Hidden Assets.” HowToInvestigate.com. Undated.                                                                                 http://how to investigate.com/articles/assets_search2.html (accessed April 30, 2009).

Kohn, Mark: CPA, CVA. “Money Matters: Assets & Liabilities: Unreported Income and Hidden Assets.” California Divorce.Info. May 1, 2009. http://californiadivorce.info/money.assetsliabilities.unreportedincome-… (accessed May 1, 2009).

Meyer, Cathy. “How to Identify Hidden Assets.” About.Com Divorce Support. Undated. http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/propertydistribution/ht/hiddenassets.html (accessed May 30, 2009).

Pearlman, Alan. Chicago Family Law Blog: Divorce and Hidden Assets. December 13, 2005. http://www.chicagofamilylawblog_com/-news-and-updates-divorce-and… (accessed April 30, 2009).

Zerman & Mogerman, LLC. “Discovery and Treatment of Hidden Assets in Divorce Cases.” July 17, 2004. http://www.divorcenet.com/states/missouri/mo_art09 (accessed April 30, 2009).

Our American culture is one that has become obsessed with all things celebrity.  We often know more about the love lives and personal struggles of the top Hollywood movie stars, sports figures and athletes, and singers in our country than we do about members of our own families.  Moreover, all of this information can be gathered just from standing in line at the grocery store.  We have television programs—even entire networks—that are dedicated to tracking the day-to-day lives of celebrities and public figures.  For some reason, the interest from readers and viewers seems to be heightened when the celebrity or public figure is going through a rough period in his or her life.  Just think about the fascination with Britney Spears’ infamous meltdown during which she adopted a carefree hairstyle, did some damage with an umbrella, and lost custody of her children.  Those images were plastered everywhere.  Patrick Swayze is currently battling with courage against an aggressive form of pancreatic cancer, but the tabloids cannot wait to publish photos of him looking like his death is imminent.  What is it about us that create such a fascination with watching others fall?

One area of celebrity life in which the public interest is particularly peaked is the difficult decision that two people make to file for a divorce.  Every couple that decides to split faces difficult emotional and legal struggles.  Add to this a media spotlight that scrutinizes every detail of the divorce proceedings and a public that determines the probable cause for the animosity and the guilty parties and you have what can quickly become an unbearable situation for the participants.  Whether appropriate or not, there are countless high-profile celebrity divorces that have captivated our attention.  Elizabeth Taylor was one of the frontrunners in achieving the media spotlight on her many divorces.  More recently, we have gone through the sagas of Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston, Britney Spears and Kevin Federline, Paul McCartney and Heather Mills, and countless others.  Just rectnly, Mel Gibson and his wife of twenty-eight years have announced that they will be getting a divorce.  Web sites and talk shows are already buzzing about how this legal settlement will be the most expensive in celebrity divorce settlement history.  There always seems to be a new celebrity relationship ending in a volatile fashion to satisfy our appetites for gossip.

What often gets lost in these stories is the fact that two very real people, with emotions and feelings, are caught up in the circumstances.  There also may be innocent children involved who did not ask to be celebrities and now face the possibility of seeing their parents’ personal arguments splashed across the evening news.  Child custody and divorce attorneys who work with celebrities must be aware of the heightened need for privacy concerning all documentation that is printed and every conversation that takes place within office walls.  That is why it is so important to hire the right law firm.

The law firms that are representing each party in a celebrity divorce must be certain that confidentiality agreements are signed by all employees involved in the case, that shredders are handy and used often, and that computer files are secure from hackers and simply those in the office who have no business seeing sensitive material.  We all know how much money certain publications are willing to pay for a single piece of paper that may reveal an unsavory detail about a public figure or Hollywood celebrity.  And, once a celebrity divorce client leaves a divorce attorney’s office and heads into the courtroom, there are additional issues of privacy that must be addressed.  A lawyer who is working as the best possible advocate for his client will petition the family law court to close the proceedings to the public or seal the paperwork associated with a celebrity case.  If a complete sealing of the records is not permitted, efforts should be made at least to keep private the specific documents that could be damaging to a client’s reputation.  Whether fair or not, the public will take very painful episodes that occurred between two people and use this information against a celebrity even if his ability to excel in his chosen field has no connection to the allegations.  Even worse, the court of public opinion often will not wait to discover if the assertions made in filed court documents are true before rendering their own verdict. 

With this greater need for privacy concerning celebrity divorces in mind, there is an additional component to consider beyond the standard confidentiality that exists between every attorney and client.  The reality is that a celebrity’s public image or celebrity status is often crucial to his or her continued success on the ball field, stage, or in front of the camera.  Beyond simply reaching the best divorce settlement or result possible for the client, an attorney who is representing a celebrity during a divorce must handle the client’s image and how information concerning the legal proceedings is being distributed to the media.  The divorce lawyer representing the celebrity must suddenly adopt the additional role of public relations expert in maneuvering through this delicate environment. 

An estranged spouse with a grudge or a former employee who was privy to family secrets can be very dangerous to a celebrity who has carefully created a perception for the world to see.  On the other hand, personal assistants, agents, and managers who are happy with their celebrity employers and want to ensure that they continue to have success in their chosen fields are some of the best resources when building evidence in a divorce case. Who better to vouch for a celebrity client’s schedule and personal priorities than someone who helps to plan his every move?  Divorce lawyers must know how to work with these important witnesses to establish a sense of trust and confidence and then assist these representatives in molding a positive image of the client to news and other media outlets.  When working with a celebrity client, the divorce attorney role necessarily extends well beyond the courtroom or office setting. 

Law firms representing celebrity clients should have extensive experience handling the sensitive issues that are specific to celebrity divorces and child custody cases.  Such divorce lawyers must take extraordinary measures to maintain their clients’ privacy and work with them to craft that all-important good standing in the public eye.   Law firms representing celebrity clients should share the primary commitment to protecting their high-profile clients.  They should work as a legal team to ensure the uninterrupted protection that celebrities require.  This holds true from the moment a celebrity is assisted with a discreet entrance into our offices, through the negotiations that take place between all involved parties, and even after a settlement has been reached and signed.  When you combine this extra step with the dedication and aggressive representation that our provide to every client, regardless of whether or not his face is recognizable to the public, those who are experiencing the painful steps of the divorce process can have confidence that their case will be given thorough attention. 

Celebrities and others with large marital estates (most are multi-million dollar estates) who have a great deal at stake, both professionally and financially, should make certain that the attorneys they are hiring to guide them through a difficult divorce are prepared to take those extra steps that are needed in these unique circumstances. 

To learn more about the scope of our legal services in celebrity and child custody divorce cases, contact one of our knowledgeable experienced divorce attorneys at Bertolino LLP.  Our law firm maintains offices in Austin, Houston and San Antonio. http://www.belolaw.com

If your marriage has reached the point where you or your ex have decided that it’s time to move on without one another, you’re probably at a point where your stress levels are high, your feelings are hurt, and you’re looking for some sort of closure to the unhappy situation. Oftentimes, this closure is divorce, and the realization of what’s happening can be chaotic. This is when you’re most vulnerable to making the biggest divorce mistakes. Here are the top five mistakes that men and women make when filing for divorce and what you can do to avoid them:

1. Bringing a “Friend” Around The Kids Too Soon: Dating After Divorce.

It’s tempting. There is a new “someone” in your life who is supportive and you are grateful to have him or her in your life. Naturally, that means introducing him or her to your children, but don’t jump into this new family dynamic too soon. Children of divorce are frequently confused by this and it will most likely infuriate your soon-to-be ex. Give your ex some time to get over the end of the relationship so that it doesn’t cause problems with the divorce proceedings.

2. Taking Divorce Questions to Friends For Legal Advice.

If your friend is a divorce lawyer, this is the only occasion to ask a friend for advice about your divorce. If not, leave the legal advice to the divorce attorneys who know what they are doing and know the intricacies of the law. It’s like asking for medical advice from someone who isn’t a medical professional. You’ll get conflicting divorce advice from well-meaning friends, and it will drive you crazy because you won’t know what to believe.

3. Hiring the Cheapest Lawyer.

Trying to get a cheap divorce isn’t always the best idea. You’ll want a divorce lawyer that will spend time with you and answer your questions. If the attorney’s fees frighten you, talk to him about it and ask for a flat fee – and ask him to outline the services he’d provide for this fee.)

4. Hiring the Meanest Lawyer.

The meanest lawyer isn’t going to get you the divorce support you want. A good lawyer can be assertive and still get you what you want. Besides, mean, obnoxious lawyers tend to anger the judges should your case go to trial. Hiring a mean attorney could be one of the most huge divorce mistakes you could make.

5. Ignoring the Truth.

You’ve made the decision to go forward with the divorce. Now is the time to be honest with yourself and make some changes. You’ve got to face the facts: divorce as well as marriage involves learning your lessons for each experience. What you want to do is make sure that you don’t find yourself falling into the same patterns that got you here and making the same mistakes you made before. Honor the truth you really

“It will never happen.” Most people belief this but it’s probably worth knowing how a divorce might affect your credit. Consider this an intellectual exercise, or useful information that you can pass on to your family & friends.

Marriage is a merging of two lives; divorce is when you separate those two lives. This is not a small task. Depending on how long you’ve been together, you may have to unwind a really messy ball of twine. If you find yourself faced with this task, one of the things you need to remember is your credit. A known fact is, divorce and credit don’t mix well. The most important thing you can do is try to keep the lines of communication open but the sad truth is, both could suffer if things go awry. While in most cases you both won’t want to talk to each other but you owe it to yourselves to clear things up correctly.

If both parties decide to call the whole thing off, you need to diligently manage all of the existing debts from your marriage. There is an easy way or a hard way to do this. The easy way would be to openly communicate and agree on how things will be settled. The hard way is to play hardball with each other. Of course, this is a really difficult time emotionally and it may not be easy to keep emotions out of any financial discussions. Furthermore, your ex may not make that possible at all. However, you need to make sure things are handled properly and ensure everything gets done correctly.

During or before the divorce proceedings, you should figure out who will be responsible for which debts. You can do this any way you like. The most important thing is that everybody knows what it is they need to take care of. When it comes to dividing up debts, it is a good idea to make the user of the asset the responsible party. IE, suppose you have a home mortgage and an auto loan. So in that case whoever will live in the house should take care of the home mortgage. Whoever will drive the car should take care of the auto loan.

By having the asset user make the payments, you make them the responsible party and they will have an incentive to keep the debt current. If you have a nasty divorce, and you’re suppose to make the payments on your spouse’s automobile, it can be tempting to withhold payments and wait for the car to get repossessed. Of course, this strategy would damage your credit, though it might be rewarding emotionally.

“Different states have different ways of handling assignment of debts. If you are going through a divorce, it is imperative that you consult with a qualified attorney who knows your state laws. You may be very surprised at how debts are handled and how they affect support payments and asset divisions”.

After you have decided who will pay for each of the debts, update the accounts. If you will continue to live in the house and make the mortgage payments, you should be the only one on the mortgage loan. To accomplish this, you can call your lender and ask to have your ex removed from the loan, It may be necessary to refinance the loan, essentially replacing it with a brand new loan. This takes time and money, but you will get both closure and a reduced risk for all parties involved. If there are monetary expenses, figure those into the total divorce settlement. Nobody has to win or lose: you just need to tidy things up.

If you must go through a divorce, hopefully it will be as easy as possible. Ideally, you will come to agreements smoothly and quickly. However, it doesn’t always work out that way. If there is any tension in a divorce, you need to be on the lookout for potential dangers to you own credit.

All couples facing divorce must deal with the expenses the process involves, but for international couples, divorce is even more costly. If you’re living abroad, either you or your spouse will need to travel to another country to manage divorce proceedings. It’s likely you’ll need to travel multiple times over the course of several months or even years trying to legally dissolve your marriage.

In addition to legal fees for your attorneys, travel costs can be a major financial strain on international couples who want to divorce. It’s no wonder so many opt to stay married, even after living separate lives for years.

In cases where spouses can’t agree on anything to do with their divorce, international couples may have no alternative to a long and grueling ordeal in the court system. Yet in cases where both spouses agree that legal divorce is their best recourse, there’s an affordable option international couples can pursue. It’s called an overseas or offshore divorce, and it’s a relatively inexpensive way to legally dissolve a marriage by mutual consent.

An offshore divorce usually involves only one spouse traveling to a foreign country to handle court proceedings involved in the divorce. This one-time trip to a country such as Guam, Haiti or the Dominican Republic will be much less costly than repeated flights back and forth between your country of residence and your spouse’s. In some cases, you only need to stay in the country where you’ll obtain your divorce for a few days. Offshore divorces can cost between $1,500 and approximately $5,000, and in most cases, this includes air travel and accommodations.

Even if you and your spouse aren’t in agreement about child custody issues or financial settlements, you can still regain legal single status through an offshore divorce. Subsequently, local courts in one or another of your countries of residence will settle economic and child custody matters. In the meantime, you’ll be able to file taxes independently, start a business or even remarry as a single individual.

You can research offshore divorces online to find out more about how offshore divorces can benefit international couples. In your research, you’ll discover that in addition to cost savings, you’ll also enjoy the benefit of speed with an offshore divorce. There’s no need to spend thousands and thousands of dollars and take years to settle your divorce. An offshore international divorce is a terrific option for couples that want their marriage dissolved quickly, easily and with minimal expense.

Houston divorce lawyers are busier than ever nowadays. Divorce is on the rise in the United States. Newly released data indicates that 43 percent of first marriages end in separation or divorce within 15 years. And Texas is no exception. There were 78072 divorces in the state in 2006. If you’re a resident of Houston, and are faced with divorce proceedings, you’ll find expert legal help to guide you through these trying times.

Divorce can have devastating repercussions on the couple and especially on any children involved. For this reason, the whole divorce proceeding needs to be carried out as professionally as possible to minimize any unpleasantness. This means hiring an attorney to handle your case. Hiring an attorney is essential for these reasons.

Firstly, only a Houston divorce lawyer will have his finger on the pulse of the Texas judicial marriage law. Divorce law is complex, and there are often related important matters such as child custody, child support and alimony/spousal support. Only a trained and dedicated professional can effectively handle such matters.

Many people nowadays search for divorce information online and try going it alone. But any blunder in the divorce process can end up being very expensive both financially and emotionally. Plus, knowing your case is in the hands of a capable Houston divorce lawyer will do wonders for you state of mind and allow you relax and think clearly about your future.

Equally importantly, a reputable, experienced divorce lawyer will keep you informed of your rights and any options available to you. This means you are better able to get what you are legally entitled to.

Having determined that the use of a lawyer is essential for your divorce proceedings, you have to find the right attorney for you.

When considering a Houston divorce lawyer for your case, make sure you get the following facts. Firstly, find out how much experience the lawyer has with divorce cases. Does the lawyer specialize in divorce? Is advice provided to you on the tax implications of the divorce? What kinds of resources are available to minimize the stress and anguish of the divorce case?

Then you need to consider the matter of payment and make sure everything is clear upfront. Get an estimate of the total legal costs you’ll need to pay your Houston divorce lawyer. You need to determine the hourly rate and ascertain everything that’s charged for. What other expenses will be itemized? Does the lawyer demand a retainer before starting work? (i.e. charges for other professional services such as private investigation or psychologist’s reports.)

Getting the answers to all these questions will allow you to find the right Houston divorce lawyer for your needs. But though these questions about experience, expertise, and affordability are crucial, ultimately, you need a lawyer who you trust and feel comfortable with. Choosing the right Houston divorce lawyer for your case will ensure that proceedings are concluded swiftly and amicably thus saving you the financial and emotional burden of drawn out proceedings which may turn acrimonious if not handled competently.

When you are facing the prospect of a divorce, or if divorce proceedings are already in full swing for you, you may be at a point where you are re-thinking the whole thing. Let’s face it, divorces are emotionally painful and very costly from a financial perspective. If you have any lingering doubts about whether a divorce is the right move for you as a couple – or if you are going toward the divorce kicking and screaming all the way – then read on. Ultimately, it all boils down to forgiving your spouse so you can both move on.

If you were the one who decided to end the marriage, you may be having second thoughts now. Maybe going through the divorce process has made you reconsider whether this was the wisest thing for you to do. After all, would it be worth giving things another try? Remember, you have the “upper hand” in this situation (believe it or not). You just need to swallow your pride and apologize to your spouse. You have to explain that you acted too hastily and that you wish you had not done so. Explain that you want to reconsider the whole idea of the divorce. Let them know you acted rashly.

This might sound difficult to do at first, but it is a necessary step if you want them back. After all, if you are the one who set the ball in motion, your spouse may have by now come around to agreeing that this was the best move for the two of you. Now that you are deep into it, you need to find out just what your spouse is feeling about your situation. Make it known that you were in the wrong. You may still be able to save the marriage just by admitting you made a mistake.

On the other hand, if your spouse is the one who initiated the divorce, then you have a bit more work in front of you. First, you are probably feeling a lot of anger right now toward your spouse for what they have done. Well, you need to start by closing your eyes and, in your heart, forgiving your spouse for setting the divorce wheels in motion. You need to be able to explain, without judging or accusing your spouse of anything, that you believe your marriage can be saved. Even if you have already tried this and it failed, try again. Remember, a lot of what comes across to your spouse stems from how you feel, deep down inside, not just the words you say.

The important thing is to remain mature and in control of your emotions. This is, of course, not always easy to do. After all, what you are going through is an emotional thing for everyone involved. A bit of crying is probably okay, but do not let things come apart to where you are getting hysterical when you speak to your spouse. The key is to let go of the anger and resentment you feel so that you can get back to a point of forgiveness for both of you.

Once you have gotten to where both of you are willing to give things another try, it is important for you to be willing to really work on your problems. You have to agree that your relationship cannot go back to the way things were. For a start, make it clear you know your spouse was unhappy with the way things were and that you are going to commit 100% to making them better.

Cheap Divorce lawyers can be a tricky affair, so here are a few tips to help you through.

Divorce lawyers are the obvious option when instigating divorce proceedings. It’s always best to seek qualified legal counsel, but it’s not wholly necessary for the entire process.

The Yellow Pages, and the Internet are great for finding cheap divorce lawyers, but a lot of people are happy relying on word of mouth. It sounds a little old fashioned, but it still works, however dated.

It is compulsory that both the parties file for the Pro Se divorce, instead of one opting for a lawyer and the other going in for the do it yourself divorce. Also, those in military cannot file through this method while in service. A lawyer is compulsory for such military divorce cases. History of physical or mental abuse on either partner by the other, debt, bankruptcy etc., are other conditions that must not be present while filing for a Pro se divorce case. It is also a condition that both the parties are financially well off after the divorce and would not need any kind of support from the other, such as alimony.

Pro Se divorces, as mentioned, involve a lot of legalities that both the partners must consider before opting for this method of divorce. However, one major advantage with this kind of divorce is that it saves a lot of money in form of lawyer fee. But one disadvantage would be that the clients would need to represent themselves in the court with no legal help from a lawyer. Getting the initial paperwork reviewed by an experienced lawyer would be a good choice before filing the papers. Cheap divorce lawyer .This would ensure that all the requisite documents are being provided and getting a separation is only a matter of time even with individual representation in the court without the assistance of a lawyer. The list of documents to be submitted is available on the Internet on websites that help with Pro Se divorces and are relatively easy to locate.

Divorce Advice

Divorce is one of the most painful processes that a couple can go through because it is a process where fault is established and it is also where the custody of the children and assets are fought for, which are both emotionally and psychologically taxing. Given this, there has been a lot that has been written on how people can better prepare or deal with the divorce proceedings, which include advice on how to plan a strategy on how assets can be divided. Although these have helped people deal with the process of divorce better, they only cover the period up to when a final settlement is reached and they seem to overlook the “after,” wherein people who just got divorced also need advice on how to move on with their lives.

Healing process

A divorce can be described as a “break” or a “wounding process” wherein relationships are severed, which could leave a painful wound for those who have decided to part ways. Given this, there is a need for people to be guided on how to begin and undertake a healing process so that they can move on with their lives. As with any “break,” the first step that people should take is to allow themselves to grieve the loss that they have just experienced. This is an important first step, for more details visit to www.tips-getting-healthy.com as this would allow a person to feel and move through the emotional pain of losing someone. In some cases it would be helpful to document such feelings in a journal as a means of venting them.

The next step in the process is to muster enough determination and decide to heal, to forgive the other party and to move on with their lives. This is also an essential step as this can free a person from feeling anger and bitterness for the rest of his life as a result of the divorce. In addition, doing so can also open up other opportunities for growth and healing. Lastly and more importantly, for more details visit to www.make-ezee-money.com which include advice on how to plan a strategy on how assets can be divided?  people who have just gone through a divorce would also do well to surround themselves with a healthy support system who would support them in the healing process. This is very important as having people who care about them can provide the motivation to stay the course of healing from a divorce.